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Laura
Hi! I'm Laura, a 23-year-old millennial girl discovering who I am by sharing my life experiences on my blog. You'll find me writing about me discovering my personal style, my growing wanderlust or giving any sort of style, uni or mental health advice.

If you ever have any questions, notes or other things that you want to know, feel free to email me

styleandsushi@outlook.com

From July 2012 all items marked with a (*) are gifted items or PR samples. Posts on this blog may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. Please read my disclaimer for more details.

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LIFE

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TRAVEL

SELF-CARE TIME AND FEELING ALONE

This post is super personal and it’s something I, to this day, feel scared to post as it really shows some of the downs of my summer. However I have given this some time to reflect on and to collect myself, so I feel much more comfortable with posting about feeling lonely at this moment. I feel like we all go through ups and downs. It’s something I want to be more open about, as there’s this romanticising image on social media that life is perfect, when in reality it’s often far from perfect.

I am a major introvert so I love to spend to time by myself. I always tend to turn my focus, thoughts, feelings and my mood inwards, rather than saying them out loud. I don’t particularly like to be in the spotlight. People always describe me as quite quiet and reserved. I personally also find social interactions, such as parties or spending time in large groups to be quite exhausting. So I sometimes seek comfort and recharge my battery by spending time on my own. After a couple of very stressful months in 2018 and 2019 I made this summer was all about self-care. Those months I lived on autopilot and adrenaline from stress and felt completely burnt out. I gained a bit of weight, felt unhappy and constantly had headaches. It’s why I wanted to dedicate my summer to taking care of myself. However, in taking time for myself this summer, I actually started to feel quite miserable by the beginning of August. Even though I thought I needed time to take care of myself by being alone, I felt extremely sad and almost lonely when I was actually spending time alone. My brain tends to go into overdrive when I’m alone and my reasoning behind this is I had lots of time to think this summer because I was spending so much time on my own.
Lots of my friends were actually away on holiday during the summer. But whenever friends did contact me to see if I was free to hang, I was usually busy working or rewriting my dissertation. When I texted them to see if they were free they were actually busy again. So as much as my friends and I tried to seek out contact with each other, I wasn’t spending proper quality time with them, which often recharges me massively. I couldn’t help but feel lonely and those negative thoughts somehow got the better of me. Even though I was feeling lonely, I was never truly alone. I had my parents, brother and his girlfriend around me all the time. However, I did feel like I wasn’t really making the most of my summer since I was spending so much time of my summer in and around the house working on my dissertation or ‘taking me-time’. It’s something that stirred up some old insecurities of mine that I had not felt in a while. I started doubting myself, as a person and it actually made me feel so down and emotional for some days.

I find it so important to be able to do things on my own. But I couldn’t help but feel ‘ugh’ halfway through August. As important as spending time alone or recharging your battery is important for an introvert, I do find that taking time for solitary self-care can sometimes be romanticised a bit. I started seeing things when I was out and about on my own. People were hanging out with their boyfriends and girlfriends, big groups of friends. All things I don’t particularly have in life, thinking there’s something wrong with me. I think those thoughts came to me from being slightly hormonal and my mood being affected by the horrible autumn-like rain we had during a couple of weeks in August.
I talked about this feeling I had inside with my parents and my brother back in August and we all knew the solution to this. Even when talking about it with friends, we all know what I need at that time. I just need to get out the house, do some fun stuff with the people I love, truly care about and get energy off from hanging out with them. As empowering as it can feel to sometimes do things on your own, it isn’t always the right ingredient you need at that moment in your life. Sometimes we try to seek out the people we love to help and make us feel better. I personally always find that hard to do, as I don’t want to feel like a burden to anyone else. So taking that step to seek out to the people you love can sometimes be quite hard as an overthinking introvert. I decided to just go for it and text the first friend of mine who came back from holiday to tell them I missed them and their company so much. It’s sometimes hard to take that step, but it will be easier for you to get out of that miserable feeling you sometimes can get when you have spent too much time on your own.

At the moment I actually don’t feel like this at all. I have had some deep chats with friends and for the first time since April 2018 I actually feel like I am not too stressed about everything in life. I am slowly starting to get back to my goofy self again, while taking care of myself by spending some time alone, but most of it hanging out with the people who truly love and care about me.

All I wanted to say with this post is that you’re not alone if you ever feel like this. Know that you will get through it as there is always light at the end of the tunnel. If you need anyone to talk to, you can always send me a message on Instagram or Twitter or send me an email.

Comments

  1. You are so brave and strong for sharing this Laura ❤️ And I know exactly what you mean by this, I've been in a similar situation myself. But what I learned from it, is that maybe I'm actually not as introverted as I thought I am. I do still love my time alone and enjoying my own company, but now I know that I also need human interaction and time spent with other people to feel my best. So happy to read that you're feeling better now! And if you ever feel like it, you know how to reach me 😘

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    1. Thank you so much for this Pinja! ❤️ I honestly wish we lived at least in the same country so we could meet up all the time! I cannot believe how much we're on the same wavelength. And right back at you, you know how to reach me! 😘

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  2. I absolutely loved this post! Thanks for being so honest because I totally feel like this. I've been feeling so isolated for the past few months and I can't wait to get back to the UK so I can spend time with my friends xx

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    1. Thank you for your kind words Hannah. It must be even worst to feel isolated when you're abroad. Hope you will soon feel better and are able to reunite with all of your friends. Sending lots of hugs your way in the mean time. I'm always here to chat if you'd like! xx

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  3. I always appreciate your honesty and openness on this blog, Laura. I think its what makes you stand out from a lot of other bloggers. *hugs*

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    1. Ahh thank you so much for your super kind words Rachel! Sending lots of love and hugs your way xx

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