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Hi! I'm Laura, a 23-year-old millennial girl discovering who I am by sharing my life experiences on my blog. You'll find me writing about me discovering my personal style, my growing wanderlust or giving any sort of style, uni or mental health advice.

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I feel like we all go through those horrible comparison traps. It’s one of the worst feelings to have and phases to go through. You usually start to doubt and question everything you’re doing and thinking you’re not worthy enough. You compare yourself to others and only start seeing the things you don’t like. It’s one of those feelings that I can properly get sucked into at least once every two to three months. I think it’s probably got something to do with the fact that we all see these picture perfect photos on Instagram all day that can really impact your self-esteem.

The comparison-trap is a reoccurring event in my life that happens every so often. The first time I felt like this I did not know how to deal with this at all, but since it has happened quite a lot since it first got trapped in the comparison trap, I have found some ways on how to deal with and get out of the comparison trap.

Go offline

One of the first things you need to do as soon as you find yourself stuck in the comparison trap, is to go offline. Put your phone away, delete your social medias off your phone or just turn it off. The negativity that is going on inside of your head all has to do with what you have seen on social media. By going offline you don’t have any temptation to compare yourself to others anymore. So if I ever go AWOL for a little while on social media, I'm probably taking some time offline to refocus.

Put things into perspective

One of the next things I like to do is to write down what I am grateful for that day. This is called gratitude journaling. I started gratitude journaling because of Pinja, and I have found that it has such a great effect on my mood. Gratitude journaling is one of those things that can really help you put things back in perspective. It definitely puts every negative thought you have in perspective and basically lets you focus on the all the good things in your life.

Focus on your own strength

Another thing I like to do is write down my strengths. One of the things I have learnt at uni is to also make SWOT-analysis of yourself. This is a model you would usually use in a research project in marketing or business management. It means you basically write down the Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats of a company or a market, but it could also be applied to yourself. Instead of doing a complete SWOT-analysis while you’re feeling a bit low, I would recommend only writing down your strengths. This means that I would write down that I am empathetic and people always come to me to talk to me. Another thing I would say is my strength or something I am proud of myself, is how much I managed to develop my writing, design, Photoshop and Lightroom editing skills in the past four years.

It’s so important to write down what you’re proud of yourself. This is something that comes from deep within that makes you proud, and it can really help compliment you and remind you of your strengths.

Focus on your own path

Everyone has their own path in life. Whether it’s your career path, uni path, love life path or friendship path. We can all look to others to see how great they are doing on their journey in life. This is one of the biggest comparison traps we put ourselves into. One of the most important things I found along the way is to just focus on my own path in life. Focussing on other people’s paths in life is one of my weaknesses. Whether it’s my former uni mates who have graduated already or because I see someone on Instagram that is more successful, I’ll usually start comparing myself. One thing I learnt from my parents is to just focus on my own path. They have always taught me to do the absolute best I can, which I always do. No matter how big the obstacle in your life is, you will get over it and you will get there eventually.

Recognize your feelings and talk about it

As a Communications student I am so aware of how important it is to communicate. It sounds so lame, but most problems in life come from people not communicating about how they feel, what they feel or because they don’t want anyone to know. I used to do this in the past too, but I learnt the hard way that this is not a good way to keep on going. You cannot crop your feelings forever, you will explode at a certain moment. To prevent yourself from an emotional explosion, I would recommend to just sit down and talk about it to someone you trust. It doesn’t really matter whether it’s your parents, your boyfriend, a best friend or your therapist. If you are feeling like you’re stuck in the comparison trap, I would always say to sit down and talk to someone about it.


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