It feels as if my brain is always in overdrive. So many people I talk to have this feeling as if their head is constantly going into overdrive. I personally know that I am an overthinker and I am pretty sure it is related to my anxiety and have insomnia to thank for it. Over the past month I have written down when I started overthinking, and I thought it would be fun to write a post about it. This might be thoughts you would relate to yourself, or you may not.
I should probably be asleep, let’s start this overthinking process. A few of the thoughts that pop into my head as an overthinker at night are: Did I set my alarm? I should really be asleep right now, but I have to know if breast implants can freeze when it’s as cold has it has been this past week. Like why would you even think about this?
Let’s double check that. Did I really put my put my public transport card in my bag this morning? I know I put my gym card in my wallet, but let’s double check before I go in to see if I really have it. Overthinkers, or at least I like to constantly double, if not triple, check to see if I actually did brought things with me.
But, why? I seem to be unable to let things go. I used the be that annoying kid that always wanted to know why things happened a certain way. Thankfully, or so I hope, I am a lot less annoying, as I nowadays tend to just ask people once and if they don’t know it, I tend to Google things. I want to know as much as possible about everything in life. You will probably find me Googling or reading interesting things on the internet if you ever stumble across me in real life.
Ah, I should make another list! Whenever I feel panic-y, stressed, or even if I am bored, I like to make lists. Lists are so good to make me feel as if I can clear my head. They’re amazing for when you want to Google certain things in life, such as if breast implants can freeze when it’s really cold, or when you just have a lot on your mind throughout a day, week or month.
Did I do something wrong? This is probably one of the most annoying things in life. Whenever people give me a short reply on Whatsapp or don’t really talk to me, I instantly feel as if I did something wrong. Instead of asking them whether or not something is wrong, I just keep it locked up inside and worry about it some more.
I just need this to be perfect! Another thing I have noticed lately, is that my strive for perfection comes from overthinking. This all comes back to not wanting to let people down. So this is why I constantly want things to be perfect. Even a smaller assignment, such as creating a moodboard for one of my bigger uni assignments, I want it to look perfect and will easily spend 5 hours creating a moodboard that is perfect. In the mean time I could have finished the entire assignment, but who even cares.
Did I do this right? Are you sure I did it right? I am always second guessing myself. As much as I like to think I know quite a lot about a lot of things, I still second guess myself all the time. I just cannot believe that something I do or say actually makes sense or is right.
But, what if … I am constantly weighing decisions I have to take in life. Do I go to that party next Saturday, or should I just stay home? If I do this, then this and this could happen. But if I do the complete opposite this or this could happen. And the most important question I have whenever I have to make a decision: But, what if …
She looks upset, is she alright? Should I ask if she’s alright? But if I ask, she might get angry... Sometimes I find myself just watching people wherever I go. I spend most of my time alone waiting for trams, buses or trains. That’s my time to truly observe people. I feel like this is a real talent of mine. By just looking at someone for a good few minutes, seconds even, while in the tram, I feel like I already know how someone feels. Weird, right?
What I'm wearing
Bershka coat (similar)
H&M sweatshirt
Mango trousers (similar)
Vans Old Skool trainers
Lancaster bag
GREAT POST. You hit the nail right on the head. Anxiety and over analyzing is the worst. Great way to explain it to other people who don't "get it". Will def be showing this to my S.O.
BeantwoordenVerwijderenThank you Rachel! It's so annoying when other people "don't get it, right? :) xx
VerwijderenReally pretty outfit Laura, love the bag!! x
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