Usually I am beyond excited for autumn to start. I love everything that comes with it, the crisp autumnal air on early mornings, the layering and most of all: drinking coffee with friends while it's raining outside. This year however, I am having a very hard time to say goodbye to summer. I actually have had quite a few panic attacks since I came back from my holiday and started my second semester at uni. I think this all comes down to two reasons.

The first reason being that I feel like summer has gone by way too fast. This year I felt like I have not had enough time to just chill, and destress before I start uni again. The past couple of months I have felt a bit on edge. It gives me anxiety just thinking about how stressful this semester is going to be at uni. So I will try to have as many early nights as possible, so I can destress and not feel like I am constantly on edge for a reason I can't really seem to figure out.

The second reason as to why I am not ready to start the autumnal season, is because this will be the second semester of my third year at uni. Which means that there's only 1,5 years left until I graduate. And that gives me anxiety too. I am absolutely loving my life at uni. My uni friends are great and we all get along so well. It's scary to think that in 1,5 years I (hopefully) will graduate and have my Bachelor of Communications. I am so not ready to say my uni life goodbye just yet.

Both of these reasons probably have to do with me growing up, but growing up has really scared me lately. It's scary to think that in a few years I'll have a job, move out of my parents home and probably will have my own house. It's scary to not know what the future has in store for you. Especially when you still feel like you have the experiences and knowledge of a 15-year-old.

My insecurities, of being too young or not having enough experience get to me. But you know what, I am totally fine with this phase I am going through. It's part of growing up. Discussing the things you go through helps. So whenever I talk to others my age or others who are in my year at uni, I soon come to realize that we all go through the same phase in our life.